A hot mug of horror

Winter is finally here. And really nothing beats snuggling up with a nice big mug of hot chocolate and a good horror novel. I am particularly partial to Stephen King’s line of both.

Many people are unaware that their favorite horror writer and their favorite hot chocolatetier are one and the same person. Stephen King’s lifelong affection for the macabre is only transcended by his penchant steaming hot chocolate. He has had the fortune of achieving remarkable success on both fronts.

Of course, to truly appreciate either, you must have both. On the other side, however, it is often confusing and frustrating to be experiencing the dark recesses of human depravity with a hint of mint on your tongue. Likewise, who wants to imagine gibbering mutant freaks with peanut butter cups on their palate?

In that light I have prepared a list of book to flavor pairing for your next hedonistic escapade:

• Stephen’s Peanut Butter cup cocoa would be an excellent compliment to Stephen King’s The Mist. Beware of the mysterious unidentifiable floaty things.


• Stephen’s Milk Chocolate Cocoa has a classic taste. Try it while reading Pet Semetary. The flavor is almost earthy. Almost exhumed gravey.
• Stephen’s Belgian Dark Cocoa is a must for the Dark Tower series.


• While reading Misery, try Stephen's Orange Creme. When it comes to Orange Creme, I'm its number one fan.


• Stephen's Raspberry pairs nicely with Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption. Raspberry is light on the palate, with a hint of hope.


• Stephen's Irish Creme is a perfect complement to the Green Mile. In fact, the main character's name is a subtle nod to the flavor.


• Stephen’s Cherry Chocolate is a very appropriate pairing with It. The strong overtones of cherry are reminiscent of fun times at the carnival and the bright red noses of clowns.


• Stephen's Chocolate Mint Truffle is an electric compliment to the Stand. Now whenever I think of the end of the world (or Christmas), I taste mint.


• Read Eyes of the Dragon with Stephen’s Gourmet Candycane Cocoa. Be sure to use a napkin.


• Stephen’s Mexican Chocolate is a very fitting compliment to Firestarter. Just make sure it's hot.


• Try reading Dead Zone with Stephen’s Italian Amaretto Cocoa. That nutty flavor will leave you sensing the future every time. I just wish I could have sipped a little and shaken Obama's hand . . . just in case.


• Drink Stephen’s Chocolate Cinnamon Cocoa while reading The Shining. Remember, "all work and no cocoa makes Jack a dull boy."


• Stephen’s Dulce De Leche Caramel would work well with Insomnia. This book just doesn't work without the desperate exhaustion created by warm milk.


• Read Thinner with Stephen’s No Sugar Added Hot Cocoa. I think no additional explanation here is needed.

I hope this list is helpful. Perhaps the most exiting tid-bit I can share, however, is the exciting marketing move King enterprises has recently made. Stephen King has final come to terms with this secret duel enterprise, as evidenced by his latest labeling campaign.

Election day apocalypse

It has always been interesting to me that revealed truth comes phonetically. When the Book of Mormon was originally translated it contained almost no punctuation. Most of the punctuation was added in 1830 by the printer. I wonder if perhaps there may be other auditory accidentals in the Book of Mormon. Are there places where a verbalization was revealed, and a homophone was accidentally recorded?

Perhaps, when the prophet heard the word "abomination," what was really intended was "Obama nation."

Consider the following:

The Book of Helaman, Chapter 7, versus 25-28:

• Yea, wo be unto you because of that great [Obama Nation] which has come among you; and ye have united yourselves unto it, yea, to that secret band which was established by Gadianton!
• Yea, wo shall come unto you because of that pride which ye have suffered to enter your hearts, which has lifted you up beyond that which is good because of your exceedingly great riches!
• Yea, wo be unto you because of your wickedness and [Obama Nations]!
• And except ye repent ye shall perish; yea, even your lands shall be taken from you, and ye shall be destroyed from off the face of the earth.

I'll leave it to you to decide.