Where is this place, Corne, and how do they make such delicious little animals? And what game, exactly, do they play?

So persistent were these nagging questions in my mind that I decided to do a little research. Corne is a Mediterranean island off the bootlace side of Italy. (On most maps it is referred to by it’s proper Italian name, Corsica.) In fact, rumor has it, that this island that was the original inspiration behind Jurassic park. Of course, rather than breeding the monstrous prehistoric reptiles that we have seen in the movie, they breed the miniature prehistoric mammals that we read about in textbooks. (Interesting note: Corsica island neighbor, Sardinia, is the home of the similarly bred “Sardina Game Fish”---a miniature fish we know as Sardines.)

These miniature animals are the result of research done by the international toy conglomerate Hasbro. Originally the Cornish “Game” Hen was devised as an experimental living game chit, intended for release in the Dungeons and Dragons line of miniatures “Giants of Legend.” Unfortunately, a group of animal rights activist got involved, and now, rather than playing with them, we deep fry them.

Now mind you, the widely known (and much appreciated) Cornish Game Hen is only one of an often overlooked group of miniature Cornish animals.

Once or twice a year—St. Patrick’s day being the most consistent—we get out our heaviest pot, chop up some veggies, and have a reverent ceremony. Walmart always puts Cornish Game Cow on sale a few days before the holiday. Something about the method of butchering a miniature cow affects the flavor, so “Corned beef” (as it is often referred to in the US) is sold in either point cut (killed in the traditional spear-throwing method) or flat cut (killed by morning-star, a method preferred by some connoisseurs).

The other wildly popular Cornish miniature mammal in the United States is the Cornish Game Dog. A vast majority of these pups are harvested from dog farms at a tender and juicy age. Most often served with a traditional cornbread coating and a wooden dowel longitudinally inserted from the back end, it is a favorite for children and adult alike.

Hopefully I have been helpful in illuminating a bit of the fascinating background behind some of our favorite Cornish delights. Hopefully you take a moment to thank your local importer next time you grab a corn dog for lunch.