Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A hot mug of horror


Winter is finally here. And really nothing beats snuggling up with a nice big mug of hot chocolate and a good horror novel. I am particularly partial to Stephen King’s line of both.


Many people are unaware that their favorite horror writer and their favorite hot chocolatetier are one and the same person. Stephen King’s lifelong affection for the macabre is only transcended by his penchant steaming hot chocolate. He has had the fortune of achieving remarkable success on both fronts.






Of course, to truly appreciate either, you must have both. On the other side, however, it is often confusing and frustrating to be experiencing the dark recesses of human depravity with a hint of mint on your tongue. Likewise, who wants to imagine gibbering mutant freaks with peanut butter cups on their palate?

In that light I have prepared a list of book to flavor pairing for your next hedonistic escapade:







      • Stephen’s Peanut Butter cup cocoa would be an excellent compliment to Stephen King’s The Mist. Beware of the mysterious unidentifiable floaty things.

      • Stephen’s Milk Chocolate Cocoa has a classic taste. Try it while reading Pet Semetary. The flavor is almost earthy. Almost exhumed gravey.
      • Stephen’s Belgian Dark Cocoa is a must for the Dark Tower series.

      • While reading Misery, try Stephen's Orange Creme. When it comes to Orange Creme, I'm its number one fan.

      • Stephen's Raspberry pairs nicely with Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption. Raspberry is light on the palate, with a hint of hope.

      • Stephen's Irish Creme is a perfect complement to the Green Mile. In fact, the main character's name is a subtle nod to the flavor.

      • Stephen’s Cherry Chocolate is a very appropriate pairing with It. The strong overtones of cherry are reminiscent of fun times at the carnival and the bright red noses of clowns.

      • Stephen's Chocolate Mint Truffle is an electric compliment to the Stand. Now whenever I think of the end of the world (or Christmas), I taste mint.

      • Read Eyes of the Dragon with Stephen’s Gourmet Candycane Cocoa. Be sure to use a napkin.

      • Stephen’s Mexican Chocolate is a very fitting compliment to Firestarter. Just make sure it's hot.

      • Try reading Dead Zone with Stephen’s Italian Amaretto Cocoa. That nutty flavor will leave you sensing the future every time. I just wish I could have sipped a little and shaken Obama's hand . . . just in case.

      • Drink Stephen’s Chocolate Cinnamon Cocoa while reading The Shining. Remember, "all work and no cocoa makes Jack a dull boy."

      • Stephen’s Dulce De Leche Caramel would work well with Insomnia. This book just doesn't work without the desperate exhaustion created by warm milk.

      • Read Thinner with Stephen’s No Sugar Added Hot Cocoa. I think no additional explanation here is needed.
      I hope this list is helpful. Perhaps the most exiting tid-bit I can share, however, is the exciting marketing move King enterprises has recently made. Stephen King has final come to terms with this secret duel enterprise, as evidenced by his latest labeling campaign.

      4 comments:

      Rebekah said...

      Yeah, I'm not going to buy the hot cocoa with It on the front. Disturbing. He does have the best hot cocoa, but I'll never read his books. Too chicken.

      I wish we could have some nice fall weather here. Sunday was quite pleasant with a little nippy wind and low and behold! They tell me it is supposed to be 94 degrees on Saturday!!! Just not right!

      Kristin said...

      The title and the picture alone are classic together. I am sure many would agree that there is no better way to describe any picture of Stephen King, than a "Mug of Horror"
      Great pairings too!

      Kristin said...

      "A HOT mug of horror" maybe doesn't describe a picture of Stephen King so well. Should have read the title as I wrote the comment.

      B.K. Stanley said...

      Timothy, It sounds like you have been combining your new chocolate connoisseur skills with your reading (probably even while sitting on the throne.) Anyway they sound like great pairing but I have only read "Thinner". I suppose I should stick to sugar free chocolate too. I guess I did listen to a tape of "Mist". I did not know that Stephen's cocoa was Stephen King, but your talents at pairing indicate he really should hire you as a sales rep.